Connor and Aiden Wells: The "W" word

I have been dreading the "W" word (work) since the day Connor was born. The day finally came to go back to work and back to reality. It was one of the absolute hardest things to do. I was sick to my stomach thinking about going back for weeks and anytime I thought about it I would tear up. I am finally writing about it since I did not really want to relive those days last week. Ugh, it was so hard to get out of the car and drop him off for the day and know that I was not going to be there for everything.

I do have to say that I was very very very lucky to have stayed home the entire 12 weeks of maternity leave. I had a great summer and enjoyed every minute with my little guy. It was awesome to have Barry home too. We were able to be together as a family and I could not ask for a better maternity leave.

I remember walking into the house for the first time with Connor just 2 days old and then it seems like in a blink of an eye he is 12 week old and I am back to work. Time sure if flying by. SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN!!!

I could not ask for a better sitter for Connor. If he cannot be with me all of the time, then it is bet to be with family. Family is most important and he is going to LOVE going to his Aunt and Uncle's house to play with his cousins and get the best care there is. I know that I will miss a lot during the day, but to see the smile and the twinkle in his eyes when he gets picked up makes me feel so good. The time in the evenings and weekends are cherished so much. It is Connor and Mommy and Daddy time and it is amazing. There are not enough hugs and kisses to give him.

I tell myself that it is going to be okay and it will get easier. I tell Connor that I am working for him - for his college education, all the toys and clothes that he wants, great vacations and fun outings as a family. It will all be worth it in the end and it makes me realize how special our time is together.

I made it through the first week and we are on week 2. Connor did AMAZING (who wouldn't with such wonderful care by his Aunt). As for me, his mom, well I didn't do so well at all, but survived. Lots of tears and worry and guilt ran through me (and will for a while - heck, probably forever) but I know that this is "normal" and I had a lot of wonderful people lift me up during this time and was there for me. The phone calls, hugs and emails meant a lot - so thank you from the bottom of my heart. We are all doing better and it will continue to get easier (I may not like it, but it will get easier).

Connor, Mommy loves you so much! This is way harder on me that it is you. Keep that smile going when I drop you off - it is the last thing I see before starting my work day and it carries me though the day. I am so glad that I am working at home tomorrow and I can spend the ENTIRE day with you.